Struggling When trying to Change Life Direction When Progress Feels Nonexistent

I will tell you, I have it in my head that I want to change my life around so much. I am trying to tap back into the creative side of me that I haven't felt in a while. I get to the point where I keep asking myself is this something I really want to do. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me pushing through is thinking, " You know we are $27K in debt and if we stop now were going to have to start making payments on that and we can not afford that right now."

There are too Many Instructions

While I have been trying to navigate everything I have come to the conclusion that there are too many people trying to tell me how to do this. Just take a second and google how to become a content creator or how to become a music producer and I can assure you there is going to be what seems like 410,000 people trying to tell you how to do it. Frankly, it makes me feel way too overwhelmed, its kind of like when you go to your grandma's house for the holidays and everyone is talking to you all at once. Theres just too much advice going on.

Pick your Niche

I swear with everything inside I DESPISE hearing someone say "pick your niche" like thanks Joshua, Tammy and Joseph. Thats not really helping me on what I should do or how much I should realistically know. I keep trying to think of a niche but like how much should I know to call it a niche, can't me existing just be my niche? I mean I guess that's is kind of what I ended up choosing. Otherwise my niche was jsut going to be showing off the great example of a trash can I am. By the way, incase you were wondering.... I am not just a trash can. If you want to get the full essence of me; imagine it. Late night in the city, down one of those dark alleys you try to avoid with the flickering street light; there sits a green dumpster open. It's dirty and half full, you see a little bit of graffiti on the side. On the ground next to it you see a big pile of boxes and two hobos doing drugs. Me while one just ODs and his friend is so out of it he just pees on the dumpster. That's me. That is my essence and that is my niche. Enjoy!

Kind of something like this. I think the visual aid will help and you know I like of like using AI sometimes.

Taking my Own Path

In short I am kind of just winging this whole thing as I go. I am just hoping the more I do the easier it will be to find something I am ok with and something I like to do. I will say I have learned how to apply a lot more of these skills I am learning. Like when I first started this blog, I would use the AI prompts to help me get started and now I kind just free flow my own words. It is becoming more natural. Although, I don't really know if I will be like the average creator.

Also, side note my thoughts kind of wander so I have to learn to keep myself on toping because I think I got off of the main topic a bit here.

Guessing What is Happening

The logically part my brain is telling me as I learn more skills I try to do more which keeps putting me in uncharted territory so I always left with this feeling of unknowning. It reminds me of when I took geometry in middle school. I felt like I knew nothing, I was confused and frustrated with myself; But, every time I took a test I would pass with no problems because I guess I knew something and didn't realize it ( when you read that I want you to read it like a question because that is how it sounded in my head when I was writing it)

Conclusion

So to basically wrap it up, I really want to vent a bit about where I am at with this whole thing, and how I am feeling. I hope by the end of this next year I have more insight for you and I can really start seeing results. I think this is a weird and hard spot to be in; I am hoping that if I keep pushing through all of this will feel a lot more natural. I don't think anyone actually reads these but if anyone does, I cant wait to see where we end up and thank you for going on this journey called life with me!