Discovering My True Self

Trying to find out who I am is really hard, I tend to question who I am a lot. I kind of lost my whole identity. I had three kids and jsut trying to survive was hard enough let alone doing anything I enjoy. As I go through my journey of trying to change my life I have to figure out who I am.

I realize when I try to make videos I have to figure out what I like and who I am in order to have something to keep motivating me to keep doing it. I think that is one this I struggle with the most is motivation. I feel like this is really clieche to say but I really don't feel like I am living jsu tkind of surviving. I am tired of just surviving, but I think that is the hardest thing is changing my mindset on myself.

How I realized I was Unsure about Who I am

I would always (still do) find it hard to answer things about myself. Whenever I woudl get asked about my likes, dislikes, hobbies, hopes for the future really anything my answer would always be something around me doing school, going to work or taking care of my kids. I remember always feeling bad answering those questions because I dont do anything. I want that to change though. I want to become the person that I would be jealous of.

Reflecting on What I like

This journey hasn't just started it's been a long one that I didn't even realize I had already started. I really, I think my brain was trying to find things to help me find something I liked and bring me some kind of happiness. I really started to think about things I use to like when I was younger, now I would like to point out that I became a mom at 21. Got pregnant and started running on survival when I was 20 (even younger actually but that is a different story for a different day), so everything I liked I felt like was a little out of my age range, I was kind of ashamed to go backwards with things that I like but I think I like things that I like regardless of my age and that is just how it is.

If I am going to be honest with myself I think that I just need to get over being afraid of myself. That it is ok for people to things it's weird that I like what I like and I need to be ok with that.

Exploring My Passions

I have gotten older and even I realize likes and passions can change. I also realize I have to try different things in order to get to where I want to. So I have been dipping my toes into a lot of different things lately

• I tried Journaling

• Making beats

• knitting

• Writing this blog

• Making videos

• video editing

• writing scrips

  
  
  
  

I think they are kind of sticking out in their own way I have to say I like something about each of them but I keep skipping around and that is something that helps me stay positive but it also kind of brings me down. I have nothing steady to keep up with and I think thats giving me no actual progress in any of my goals.

Finding comfort in a personal creative space

Thanks for Sticking around

This has not been a easy journey so far but I want to pour much more into it, so here I go with a fire inside me (More like an small ember right nwo because I am sick and struggling) but I cannot wait to see where this goes.