Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of My Transition Journey

A peaceful park bench in autumn, symbolizing reflection and change

Feeling Beat up From Both Sides

I am trying myst to make th ebest at this situation but I kind of feel stuck. I am trying to learn something valuable where I don't have to stay at my current job, Something I can grow with. At the same time my current job is starting to go down hill because I am disappointed with myself that I haven't yet come around to getting there and I am on the verge of getting fired from my current job. Its kind of like a back and forth. I am trying to stay excited for learning and growing but I hate my job so much it gives me like a burn out feeling every time I have to go.

• Excitement and anticipation about finally being able to do something I like.

• Fear of failure from not doing well on either ends at the moment

• Anxiety about the unknown, because i have no idea what I am doing

• Moments of self-doubt questioning if I’m making the right choices.

• Relief and joy when I see progress .

Going into Changes Alone

No one around me does anything like what I want to do. Its hard because I am going on this journey alone. I would be nice to actually have someone to bounce ideas off of or someone to help me figure things out. I think having a community would make it easier but at the same time I would be so scared to actually tlak to someone who knows what I am doing and hearing my trash ideas. I say trash ideas because I am just starting out of course everything I do is going to be bad.

How do I handle the Stress of Everything

I do have a lot of stress because it is a struggle, I have no idea how I manage. Usually I try to stop and break down whatever I am doing and just take it step by step. I think things just kind of take a toll of me and everything that has to be done gets very overwhelming; breaking it down into smaller steps makes everything feel a little more achievable.

Navigating Changes in my Identity

I have to start changing my idea of myself. I think this is where a lot of my journey is coming from at this this beginning portion. I have only ever thought of myself as a mom or a caretaker. I have not had my own identity in such a long time I have to change almost a decade of thinking one way to another.

For anyone else going through this and feeling alone, you will be so happy with yourself when you get there. Don't give up.